What we have learned..............

Ry's unit flying over

Today was the day that changed our lives as a military family forever.  Little did we know, but ten years later we would endure two overseas deployments, my husband almost missing the birth of our son, and many lessons learned.  

Just like everyone, I can still remember exactly where I was and what I was doing ten years ago.  We were living in a small one bedroom apartment for six months while we finished building our home.  I was sitting on the floor of our apartment playing with my six month old daughter. I had just finished feeding her breakfast and turned on the TV just after the first plane hit.  It seems as if the next couple hours of events happened in a matter of minutes.  My husband at that time was working for a civilian business and was out of town in Denver for business.  He was supposed to fly home that morning.  I remember not being able to get a hold of him on his cell phone and in the confusion of what was happening didn’t know if he was in the air or diverted somewhere else.  Finally, Ry called home and let us know that his flight was grounded and he was renting a car to get home. 

From that point on I watched, waited and somewhere deep inside, knew that our lives would not be the same. 

We settled into our life and I got pregnant with our son.  When I was seven month pregnant we got the call.  Ry was being activated to head over to Iraq.  I can still remember the call.  We were just walking inside from going grocery shopping and the phone was ringing.  I remember feeling uneasy when I saw it was a military call in the middle of the afternoon.  Ry left in a matter of weeks.  He was doing his train up in Kansas so we were able to drive down and see him on the weekends.  I can still feel the emotional drain each Sunday brought as we said our “goodbyes.”  We didn’t know when he would leave Kansas for Iraq and knew it could happen at any moment so we were happy to have a weekends with him, but each Sunday brought a draining goodbye.  

After a little over a month of this, we finally decided I was entering my ninth month and the Sunday goodbyes were too much. So we said our final Sunday goodbye. I got an induction date and prayed everyday that his unit would still be in Kansas and that he would be allowed to come to Lincoln for the birth.  The night before my induction his unit had not left and he called and told me that he was on his way back for the birth, but that he may have to leave at any moment.  Thankfully, Ry was able to be there for his son’s birth and spend that whole day with his new son.  The next morning, I remember quietly saying goodbye to Ry as he left the hospital room to return to duty.  I can still perfectly picture him walking out of the hospital room in his army fatigues.  Thinking how horribly surreal it was to spend a matter of hours with his new son and have to leave to serve. 

Fast forward a few weeks.  Ryan’s unit was de-activated and never did leave Kansas and they returned home.  We again, resumed to a somewhat normal lifestyle.  Fast forward seven months and his unit was again activated.  We had about a month this time to prepare.  Ryan was directed to this unit as the commander and knew he would go this time.  This was the deployment that the majority of our life lessons were learned.  Ry returned home in 2005 and we settled back into life again until this deployment.  We are now in the final chapter of this deployment and as I look back on this day I can see how many amazing ways our life has changed us.

I have a friend who is doing a paper for her grad class and she asked me yesterday about what qualities a person should possess to be successful in the workplace.  I realized my answers were what I have learned mostly in the last ten years.  They are not only applicable to the workplace but in life. We all go through trials, joys and tribulations but what you take from it and how you learn from it is what makes you better. How your character changes for the better by taking those lessons and learning from them is what makes you strong.  I replied:  Being humble and not having a sense of entitlement, communication, and a sense of humor.   

These are exactly the lessons we have learned as a family over the past ten years.   We are to be humble and serve. We are not entitled to anything….we have to work for everything we have, even freedom.  We have to communicate.  It is vital to communicate our likes, sadness, needs and pride.  It branches into everything from parenting, relationships, relating to others and being true to ourselves.  And finally, keeping a sense of humor.  When there are times that nobody can control and life throws you difficult or stressful situations that cannot be changed, we laugh.

Our flag out front of our house seems a little brighter today, because today is not a day we mourn anymore, today is a day to remember and rejoice in what we have all learned and how resilient we are as a family and a nation. I am so proud and thankful for all the sacrafices that everyday people and service men and women make for us everyday.