Darkness or Light?

Ruin and Recovery are both from within.

 I choose to remain positive and overcome the fails of absence.  My other option is to fall into negativity and allow darkness to shadow everything.  The choice is clear.

What a couple weeks I have had.  They certainly tested my strength and resolve.  A family member became very ill from his struggle with the demons of addiction. I was determined to support him in his positive decisions while juggling life without Major. This proved to be harder than I thought because managing life without my loved one, I realized how much harder it is to give out what you don’t get fully replenished inward.  However, the reward certainly outweighed the struggle.    

I work everyday with addicts and have been in school for the last three years for addiction, but let me tell you, there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for the time it hits home and becomes personal.  You feel with your heart and it hurts. 

I ran across this quote this week and it spoke to me.  I don't know who wrote it or where it is from, but it means so much to me this week.  I think this quote can apply to all of us in one way or another with our everyday lives.

"The darkest moments of our lives are not to be buried and forgotten, rather they are a memory to be called upon for inspiration to remind us of the unrelenting human spirit and our capacity to overcome the intolerable."

I took this and thought about it in all different aspects of my life. It can be interpreted many different ways.  I hope you are inspired by this in your own way.

When there are sad times, or hard times in our lives, we don’t want to pretend they didn’t happen or look at them negatively.  Instead, we need to try to remember we are given these times in our life for a reason.  Sometimes that reason is blurred and sometimes it will always be hidden…but there is a reason.  So the next time we face a challenge we can look back and remember how strong we really are.  We can hold onto that internal strength we know we have and keep faith that we will get through it.  Even when times seem helpless and dark, we can recall the times we have gotten through before and know we can do it again. 

We have about 25 days till Major returns home.  I look back and cannot believe he has been gone for a year.  Sometimes I amaze myself that I have almost done this all the way through without going crazy.  I have learned a few key reasons as to why I got through this with grace.  I cant wait to finish that blog and share it with you all!