Goodbye....

I don't have a big story to tell. Yesterday was draining and we are all working on gaining our heart's energy back. Yesterday went by so fast, but I have several vivid memories that will forever be with me.

• My sweet Sydney, who is emotional and artistic and wonderful in every way, woke up at 4am with such anxiety. I remember wishing I could take it away from her but sat with her and allowed her to feel it in hopes of strength and healing.

• Brock fell asleep on the way to Omaha with his beloved chocolate donut in his lap. I knew he was more than just tired because a chocolate donut never just sits.

• I remember Ryan and I reaching for each other's hand at the same time as we hit the city limits of Omaha and silently holding hands.

• Out of nowhere, Brock told his dad, in his beautiful young boy voice, that he is the man of the house now and will take the trash out for mommy.

• I literally felt like I couldn't let go of Ryan when hugging him goodbye.

• Kids saying goodbye to Ryan and doing fairly well until they finally felt that goodbye on the way home. I remember feeling like it was a small blessing from above that Ryan didn't have to see the kids so upset. It would have just killed him.

• Brock continuing to ask me all day, how many more days till daddy gets home.

• Finding Ryan's toothbrush sitting out and breaking down alone in the bathroom.

Our journey started with dealing with the upcoming deployment and preparing for it. Now begins our journey into moving forward. As a military wife you always have a small feeling inside that it will be taking away from your spouse by moving forward with life. But you know you have to. Life goes on. So, we are looking forward to Christmas and of course, Santa. Life as a crazed single mom may get interesting with blogs so hold on for the journey. Have a wonderful week.